Dan Rush's jaw jaw snooker escape at the Liverpool Open a couple of weeks ago. There's a clip floating about online somewhere.

I was playing a frame once where I was miles behind in a frame, played a great shot to turn the frame round only for the light fixture to fall out of the ceiling and crash onto the table.

I've also seen someone with a black over the pocket get down to knock it in and his chalk fall out of his shirt pocket and hit the cueball.

I once took out a sat nav finish which included 2 doubles (1 full length) and a treble to land straight on the black, stretching over the table the carpet floor tile slipped sending me face down onto the table scattering all remaining balls......

On losing the frame I took the tile outside threw it down the road got in my car and drove home quoting the words " f***ing stupid game"

My Mates never mentioned it again :-)

I once saw a mate screw the cue ball back up his own bridging arm as he wasn't fast enough to get out of the way!

There was an incident in the most recent County match in Cambridge, which involved one of the Cambs youth players smashing the break, sending the cue-ball straight up, about 4 feet up in the air, and smashing the light, before going off the table.

Cue all sorts of theories about what should then happen, some of which were as follows:

We can just re-rack the balls and start the frame again so we can sweep all the broken glass off the table. (this was deemed unacceptable by the Norfolk guys, who wanted a re-rack with 2 shots because the ball went off the table)

We could play on with the broken glass on the table

Mike Perkins then pops up and says "just mark where all the balls are, and then remove the balls, brush the cloth, and then put the balls back where they were..."

So we have this group of 17 year olds, knowing no better, marking the balls, for about ten minutes, putting chalk marks on the table, debating about how to devise a marking system which would tell them which was a red, which was yellow, which was the black, etc...

I had a quiet word with Mike over by the bar, and said, "You can't be serious, Mike. I can't believe you meant that as a serious suggestion"

He asked why I thought so, and my response was, "because it's a bloody stupid suggestion, and you're not stupid, so I have to assume you were joking" at which point Perky breaks down laughing, and a few more minutes are spent in good humour as we watch this group of lads sticking their tips on the table and making chalk marks, alongside remarks of "it's ok, I'll remember which ball is which...." and assorted gems...

In the end I had to go over and tell them to stop being so daft, and to just call it a void break, and re-rack with the same breaker.... they weren't happy about it (they'd created something resembling a Constable on the cloth by this point) but they eventually agreed....

I never pointed out to them that there was one massive flaw in their plan: the chalk marks they were making would have been brushed away with the glass.......

Unlucky there Dan!

Some years ago, playing in a town doubles semi-final deciding frame, we'd shot our bolt and left virtual tap-ins. Their guy was going about his business and left a quarter ball cut on the black. Knocked it in and went mental, giving it the big, "COME ON! GET IN THERE!!!!", not noticing as we had, that the white was travelling towards an inevitable in-off! As he was stll ranting, facing his partner away from the table, the white disappeared, and I proceeded to replicate his rant (bit of a wind-up!).

He turned round confused (in the melee, he still hadn't got round to shaking hands!) and looked at the table to see no cue ball! We shook hands and he went and sat in a corner staring into oblivion without moving or blinking for what seemed like an hour!

Priceless stuff - always look before you leap!!!

I wish I was that Clever mate!!!

I ended up Winning the frame, and then in the decider went for a finish and tweaked my last red with the black over the bag.

Arse fell out like a right cock.

Still, I was happy to have taken such a player to a decider.

A top top bloke as well.

The day there is a provision for an iPhone in the rules, that's what I'd do. :)

I took out a nice little dish on yellows in a match many years ago, potted a long tricky black, turned to shake the hand of my opponent,, to see a slightly bemused look on his face and him pointing to the table at an object sitting pretty, bold as brass by the top cushion. Yep, one of my yellows. To this day I have no idea what I was thinking.